Not My Kind of Date
by Gothicthundra
Summary: Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter are dateless...at the moment. So James and Sirius come up with an idea. An angry Bella, a scared Peter and Remus, and of coarse chaos.


**Not My Kind of Date**

Remus Lupin lay on the Gryffindor common room couch bitterly. It was the day of the Christmas Ball and he hadn't managed to get a date. He wasn't the only one, but he had really hoped as it was his sixth year that maybe he could manage to get a date. He didn't think he was that unattractive, but he did realize he was a bookworm and might be considered a nerd. At least he was reassured that his friends didn't have dates either. Even though Lilly Evans had stopped talking to Severus all together, she had told James to do some things with a broom no one was entirely sure was possible, after he had asked her to go with him. Sirius, though charming and handsome he was, had managed to anger most girls that where single and been rejected by others, some he had not bothered to ask. Peter, well he was Peter and Peter just didn't get dates like the others.

"Remus. I'm bored." said Peter sitting on the rug reading next to Remus.

"Well, what do you want to do?" asked Remus, closing his book.

"Well James and Sirius said they had a mission, and I don't want to read anymore and I was stating that I was bored in hopes that you'd have an idea." said Peter.

"Not one... hey where did James and Sirius go?' asked Remus, looking around.

"They mumbled something about talking to some people about dates or something." said Peter throwing paper into the fire in a careless manor.

"Oh great, last minute date hunting. I don't like it when they do this. It means their going to ask out poor young girls who have crushes on them and then break their hearts. It's so unneeded." said Remus, with look of disgust on his face.

"Hey guys, where back." said James, jumping through the portrait hole with Sirius.

"So, we have great news." said Sirius.

"Your breaking hearts?" suggested Remus.

"No." the two said.

"We go you two the hottest dates of the year." said James.

"You should be groveling at our toes." said Sirius, with a grin.

"Who?" asked Peter, sitting up quickly.

"We'll show you." said James and he and Sirius bolted up the steps, carrying cloaks.

"I'm worried." said Remus, opening up his book again.

"Should we change?" asked Peter.

"We have four hours before the Ball and besides, there's no telling with those two. For all you know, you could have a date with a rat and me with a dog." said Remus, bitterly.

An hour passed and Remus, put his book down finally and looked at his watch. Surely it didn't take an hour to get a photo or something or even a yearbook. Remus stretched and decided to go for a walk around the castle as Peter had now fallen asleep. When he entered nearly an hour later he saw a disturbing sight.

"You've got to be joking." said Remus.

Sirius Black and James Potter stood there in the doorway, wearing dresses. Normally this would have just been amusing, but they had a demented look on their face, something of wither seduction twisted with laughter, or maybe it was because of pain. Sirius looked to have borrowed his cousin Bellatrix's dress. It was sleek and black with a corset and long witch boots. He looked to be in a struggle to breath and move. James dress looked more old fashioned and went to the ground. This dress was red with gold accents. It was possible he had nicked it from his mother, but why?

"We're your dates." said Sirius, and his voice let them know, that he could barely breath.

"Don't we look fetching." said James striking a pose and playing with his hair.

"Are you wearing lipstick?" asked Peter, eyebrow raised.

"Yep." said the two of them.

"Remus, your my date." said Sirius, pouncing on his werewolf friend.

"Sirius, I think I'll pass." said Remus, blushing.

"Me too." said Peter, staring at James.

"Why?" they asked.

"Think about it, it'd be a riot." said James.

"Yeah, I mean...who would judge." said Sirius, with a laugh that quickly stopped due to pain.

"Actually, uhm." said Remus, face red.

"What?" asked the two, staring at him.

"I actually just... ohm... got me and ...er... Pete dates." said Remus, "Sure it'd be funny, but to be honest I didn't believe you guys had dates for us."

"Thank goodness." said Peter, in fear.

"Who are you going with?" asked James.

"Never mind that, if I don't have to wear this damn thing get it off me." said Sirius, trying to reach the back of the corset.

"Well I'm going with ..." his voice trailed off, " and Pete, I got you a date with Marie for Hufflepuff.

"Who?" asked James as he moved to Sirius, to unhook the corset ropes.

"Lilly." said Sirius, looking at the ground.

"What?" said James, taking a deep breath, pulling the strings with him.

"J..a..mm..ess. AIR!" said Sirius, eyes wide.

"SIRIUS BLACK WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ME DRESS!!" yelled Bellatrix, raging in the portrait.

"How did you get in here?!" yelled Sirius, in a panicked tone.

"I scared some wretched little mudblood!... WHAT ARE YOU..." she trailed off looking at James and Sirius.

James and Sirius looked at the raven haired seventh year in front of them in fear. Remus and Peter where slowly moving back away from the three. Bellatrix's face was blank as she looked at the two. Sirius began to get even more nervous at this point. Apparently this was a bad sign or one he hadn't seen yet. Then she did something that only six people had ever seen her do, she laughed. Not her normal evil "RUN AWAY!" laugher, but actual laughter. Her eyes had water in them and James and Sirius, started to snicker a few moments later when she stopped and her face went blank again.

There was a still moment and then Bellatrix with a speed no one could ever hope to muster had pulled out a camera and snapped a picture. Sirius blinked as she headed back out the portrait hole. Then at top speed James and Sirius ran after her. Remus and Peter shrugged and followed. As they closed the portrait after leaving Sirius came running in nothing but a pair of underwear. James was running behind him laughing as Bellatrix calmly walked away, dress folded neatly in her arms.

"OPEN IT UP!" yelled Sirius, as the Fat Lady had just left.

"To think we where upset about dates." said Peter watching Sirius scratch at the portrait.

"I'm glade that we didn't have dates or this wouldn't even be possible." said Remus, fighting back laughter.

"Moony, now what was this about you and Lilly?" asked James, taking off his heels.

"Ohm well... t here's a really funny story and oh look at the time... gotta go." and Remus bolted and James tore off after him.

"You gotta love Hogwarts." said Peter with a laugh as he sat and watched a panicked Sirius as Professor McGonigall came up the steps and started yelling at him.

**END**


End file.
